Gay up, man!!

Okay, so I am just going to put this out there because I've been wanting to write about this in my diary (a.k.a. here) and no one will read it anyway and I reaally, really want to get this out of my chest.

This is nothing I haven't said before, but I-love-gays. Maybe in an even unhealthy way (yeah, perverted hentai way), but I can't help it. I also love lesbians (it's just that Asia is much more pro-man-fanservice than the other way around). Somehow I think those kind of relationships are purer...

It's just my bias, though, not that it really is like that.

Thing is, I like androgyny, I think it's some kind of the climax of life.

Yeah, stupid, I know, it's still my honest feeling.

And I have found myself wondering lately about this things, perhaps because I have a homophobe mom and I am bi and soo pro-gay her comments actually hurt. The big question here (and yes, I am being random, it's because it's late and I want to take a quick nap before Music Core but my dad being sitting next to me keeps me from doing so *sigh*, this are the times I wished I had my own place... I have my room but I have a slight backache and I the position for the laptop is not too comfortable for me. Back to topic) is...

Will she be able to accept a relationship between me and a girl?

It's not unlikely, just as it is not likely. 50-50. I like equally both, because I see inner beauty and general timeless genre-free beauty, that's how I am.

Anyway, I am honestly afraid to ask, since I have not been taken seriously and I wouldn't like to get into useless argument...

It's just that...

*sigh*

I guess I am not ready to put it put there in words yet, even if it is on this useless and anonimous blog.

PS: the ones on top are EunHae. OMG. I'll blog about them later.

Entré!

Just as the title says, I got in...

No further explanation is needed...

Nee~~

I am too tired to give further details about everything that has happened... but I am a RADIO DJ NOW!! I am soo happy!! I mean, I am just beginning but they said I was good (for me I was just ok) on my first show so I hope I can get better and better and stuff...

and I don't wanna write anymore xd! so bye bye!! I just wanted to share my happiness!!~~!!

. . .

Insecurities suck...

I'll say, Just suck it up and do it...

Although, it is indeed easier said than done...

But hey! man up and step up and go forward and stuff...

Yeah, I wish I had someone to tell me that and give me the fucking courage I don't have...

Why am I such a corward? I wish I just did a little more acting and a little less thinking...

I am such a wuss....

But! I am trying to man up =B! And I have already Achieved so much, why stop now?....

Should I just go for it...?

Awesome news for me~yay!

I have AWESOME news! I mean, there's nothing too sure yet, and it's not really that important, but it is a big (huge) step for me. So I gathered all my courage (and patience) and made a demo for a project for a Radio from Hato. At first I was really confident and checked my e-mail everyday thinking that I couldn't be rejected, but since they took some time to reply, I thought I hadn't been accepted so at first I was all frustrated and me (you know, I don't handle frustration and failure) but then I was able to put it behind me and forget about it...

BUT TODAY... I received an e-mail telling me I had been accepted and... Gosh! I was soo happy I inmediately could picture myself like this:

But then, I started panicking because even if I had pictured myself dealing with this all okay, and even if I'm not 100% hired, what if I couldn't do it? What if I made lots of mistakes or nobody liked it? I mean I have seen/listened to some pretty shitty stuff but it's sort of different since everyone knows each other and I am a whole outsider. However I did have the resolution of clawing my way into the fansite. I published my story (and I will continue to write more, since it is my talent), but I am really insecure too.

Shane Dawson has really helped me with that. Hahaha, ironic how he has absolutely no idea (of course, he's a youtuber). But thanks to him I am more confident and I hope I can send him a video reply one of this days or a comment he'll read. He always does, but since I have nothing good to tell him I've haven't send him anything. Nevertheless, he's given me so much confidence I almost can believe it. He's really nice. I'll go watch his videos :P!

So, now that I may get the job for real, I think I'll be like this:

All uncool and confused and WTF??

But I'll give it a try and I'll give my best if I go on live podcast one of these days!

~Adieu!

It's okay to be gay~Super Junior

Just sit and enjoy! (LOL)

Okay, so I soo not did this video but wish I could! The girl kept repeating that she didn't think they were gay and stuff so don't take it as a big deal and stuff... well, you know what?? THEY ARE GAY! There, I said it.

Well, nooo.... they are not all gay, but some of them are (not that they came out, but you can tell, right?) and it's totally fine.

You see, for me Super Junior is devided between the ones that I know are gay and the ones I wish were gay. LOL.

Well, there's this other video that is also cool, from the same account... so... here it is!

PS: I don't know if I said so, but I case nobody realized... I love gays, gayness, lesbians, cross-dressing, and you know all the kind of things you see at a gay pride parade! Yeah, I'm pretty fucked up... But I'm happy =D! (LOL)

Perfection~Super Junior M

I have so many things to say about this video...

It's just so...! (sexy, orgasmic, shallow -yeah, lol- hot, awesome, comercial, cool)

I mean, I am so sad Hannie left and I really, really miss him (watching full house I actually wish he was back) but I couldn't have been happier when I found out Min and Hyuk where going to be in Suju-M. I mean... hello OTPs! I'm actually a little into MiXian/Qmi, but compared to KyuMin they are totally at a loss! I am actually into ZhouRi a hell lot and I don't get why the fuck they are not popular and they have to go around screwing with YeWook and HanChul... (besides KyuMin and EunHae, of course).

Anyways, now the OTPs are reunited, and I do think they'll be some more threesome action but I don't care (you know, as long as it's just PWP).

Oh, I just realized I haven't said a thing about the actual song or video...

Hm...

At 0:17 there's this EunHae fanservice... There, that's about the video. LOL.

No, but they are really cool dancing together ALTHOUGH poor Henry has been diminished to being one of the three main dancers led by sexy dance machine EunHyuk. Sadly, he'll get really overshadow by the EunHae dancing duo. But good for Hae though, since he was promoted to lead dancer right next to Henry when before Henry had the main solos. Well, let's just say the three of them look sexy as hell dancing out front.

I'm not really sure who's the leader now, though... Well... Not that it trully matters xD. (I vote for Siwon, though)

About the song... It's cool... nothing too special but cool and sexy. Personally, I loved it.

And Hello cool smexy coreagraphy with awesome rape-me-now-Suju outfits!

Thumbs up for them!

(And I reaaaaaaaaally hope they go to 100% Entertainment and show Show Luo (ha) a little of that EunHae action!!)

Opening the old dusty Diary Again~

Soo... I'm back. I think it's because I am the kind of person that really likes blogging and stuff (because I like to have a diary and journalism, lol) but I don't really want anyone to read this (well, I think we're good there so far!).

Anyways, I have a new laptop! YAY!!!

I really thought this blog was dead for me! But ya' know what? I think I'm more into it than ever.It's because my new laptop is sooo good for blogging!! I love it.

So, what's up?

Not much really, since I've blogged last year that I moved with my dad. A-we-so-me. I'll take pictures of my room and upload them 'cause it is so damn pretty and crazy and full of color to the point of diziness... it is so me!!

And now I am a kpop freak... Like yeah, the thing I really wanted to avoid; being into pop again, happened. At least is Kpop...

Don't get me wrong, I'm still oh-so-in-love with Visual-kei!! It's just that... yeah. LOL. Now it has to compete with Kpop and to be honest, Kpop has much more things to watch like funny shows and no matter what people says SO MUCH MORE GAYNESS!!!

Like seriously! Visual may be all about dressing like girls but Kpop is out of contest gayer in every sense..

Never mind....

I'll just put the new Suju-M vid in my next entry...

(PS: I fucking need a memory card for my camera)

No Other~Super Junior

'Aww! this song and video makes me fly! *O*! I honestly never thought I would be so much into them! Or that I would be back on pop! But I guess "never say never" (ew, I just realized it was a JB fras D:, LOL). They're really talented and I love them!! (also, my mom was able to guess which ones were my favourites =B!), Plus! Kpop IS the best pop!

...at moments like these~

If the day comes that I'll be missed by someone...
If the day comes that I have to leave this world...

I wish to be remembered, but I don't want to be cried...
Maybe I'll allow to shed some tears, maybe just the one...

But at the end of the day I'll want everyone to remember all my happy moments...
I want everyone to know how optimistic I was even if I wasn't always happy...
Because Tears will be useless, but memories will be fulfilling...
So please, don't cry! Think I'll be in a better place...

'Cause death isn't sad! It's the beginning of another journey!
One lives, one dies...
People may be left behind,
those can miss, feel the pain the absence, but in the end...
Just smile,
Someday, tomorrow, there will be a time when you say...
Remember what we did that day??

Don't get me Wrong~

When I say I want your stuff, it doesn't mean I want you not to have them...
When I say I would like to be like you, it doesn't mean I don't like myself...
When I say I envy your success, it doesn't mean I want to take it away from you...

What I mean is I wish I had something cool to share with you...
What I mean is I would like to be a better person as you are...
What I mean is that I admire you, and everything you've done...

I'm honest when I say "congratulations"...
But I hope I could be congratulated too...

I truly feel happy to see you have achieved your goals...
But I feel sad for me; I hadn't gotten the power to start reaching my owns...

So when I tell you "Why not me?"...
Please don't take it as "Why you?"...

I'm happy for you; you're brave, you know and fight for what you want...

But I can't stop feeling jealous because I'm still in my couch, dreaming about what I want without the power to get it, doing everything that I'm told and supossed to do, too scared that I will not succeed if I try harder for harder things.

So beleive when I say I'm happy...
Don't get mad if I say I envy you...
It's just that I admire you too much...
Can't you realize I just wish I was as brave and cool as you??

Thinking of you...

What can I say? I truly miss you... I... I can't describe exactly how I feel... maybe as if I missed you when I never truly had you... could that be? Maybe it's because I'm just a little sick... maybe it's because I've been with my friends... who knows? I just know I suddenly miss you again, but even though I've been thinking of calling you, to maybe start something with you again... I realize I don't have time for those lies, I don't have either the energy or the imagination to start believing we love each other again...
I just hope you hadn't forgotten me yet, maybe one day we'll meet each other again...

Dedicated to two people I lost and will never come back again, but I hope they are doing just fine, and perhaps they remember me in winter days like this one.

...Yume~...

Me duele todo.. no tengo ganas ni de subir foto con esto...
pero solo soy feliz!!! genuinamente feliz... es tan bello cuando los sueños se hacen realidad!!! *Q*!!!

VERSAILLES LO MEJOR!!!!

*O*! Hizaki te amee!! Y Teru tu sonrisa bella!! Kamijo eres tan sexy!! Yuki... porque xuxa tiraste la baqueta justo un metro a mi izquierda?? T_T dick igual te ame tocando la batería!!! *O*!!

Funny Video !!

Just a prank video between two random guys--- ._. okay, not so random... These are Hangkyung and HeeChul from a Korean band called Super Junior...

And I happen to love HeeChul 'cause he's cute and he's called "the diva" (and not for nothing) xD... so that goes with my personality (I mean... I like that kind of boys xD...) And I actually like him when he looks more like a girl -///-U... but that's just because he has such a strange face that he looks better with more hair sorrounding it... (?) xD Nahh, I kid HeeChul... I like him =)

PS: HeeChul is the one in the pink shirt not the other one who laughs like a dumbass... what did you think, duh!??... nahh I kid HanKyung I actually love him =B

Doki Doki Waku Waku ~ Honey Love!

Oh, I hadn't blogged in a while... It's been crazy over here. And all my attention now it's dragged towards Versailles's Concert tickets. Hope we get the best ones tomorrow! *o*! I'll make it happen!

Oh, and I wanted to upload this sweet candy song! It's so Japanese, so Anime, so Up-beat, so... I don't know it's just such a pretty song!! Yes, pretty. And it's Honey's song from Ouran Host Club. It's called Doki Doki Waku Waku and it doesn't make a hell of an epic song (xD)but it's a song to listen either when you're happy (it goes with the mood) or when you're sad (it lifts your mood up!) ^-^

My new Philosophy xd!

Found this on Youtube... Goes with me! =D

You say 50 cent - I say Dir en grey

You say Beyonce- I say Gackt

You say Britney Spears - I say Moon Kana

You say lil wayne - I say Miyavi

You say Jonas Brothers - I say An Cafe

You say Miley Cyrus - I say lm.c

You say HSM - I say polysics

You say rap - I say Jrock

You say pop - I say Jpop

You say hip hop - Visual kei

92% of kids have turned to rap, pop, & hip hop. If your one of the jrockers out there copy and paste to 4 videos

Bueno sí, era una cadena pero lo importante es la esencia xD!

Austin Scarlett's Special! (L)!

Me cachis que quedé X____X subiendo tantas fotos pero valió la pena por Austin!

I absolutely had to make a special for one of the two best designers in project runway ever!!! He is so great! Since I can't have him as a boyfriend, my hopes with him is that he can design my husband's wedding dress... no... wait... what?? o///o I mean... mine. (or not...?? xD) Well, but since I'm probably not gonna get maried ever, that ship is sailed. But he will design my outfit for the oscars... I know it! xD

Okay, so first; look how pretty he is: *o*!
Awww! I just love him!! Ok, now let's look at his awesome work outside Project Runway:
I mean, Vera Wang and Donna Karen isn't gonna show anything better than these Austin Scarlett's. They can suck it xD. Okay, so now let's look at his beauty AGAIN (LOL):
So... He appeared again on the show at the fifth season as a jury in the first challenge. And he wore two impecable outfits and... he looked amazingly hot *O*... Let's some pictures of THAT xD.

Here he is with Tim Gunn, whom I personally find adorable and a perfect gentelman. I would love him to be my design teacher. Austin looks so lovely with his angel face.
No comments. *O*!
We needed to do a close-up to this beauty!! *O*! xD sorry, I just saved as much pictures as my patience would let me.
Here he is in his judge chair. OMG! That suit looks so great on him. I mean...Woooo! *O*! Thumbs Up xD.

Okay, so I didn't want any pictures of him with someone else that wasn't either related to the show or a model but I just had to say this. The guy next to him is SOOO HOT! I mean I'd give him one! Wajajaja... I'm just kidding of course. I mean... what that fuck that guy?? He doesn't look as someone in fashion bussiness. What if he's a perv? O_o!! I'll save you Austin!!

Just kidding before. So here's another picture. I like this. I think it's so glamorous.
Here with one of his models. Actually if he weren't gay they would be a very attractive couple. Anyways, I feel this is a flawless picture with flawless characters in it. xD Oh, and I am going to paste my picture in the model's face and say he's my husband. Hahaha, just kidding... I guess ._.

xD!

Finally the las picture. Just him and noone else. Yay! I love his shirt I'm going to steal it xD. Okay so now let's see some videos. This one is from PR, they had gone to a party to impress some important man of the industry, and they would be judge because of the outfit and the abillity of sell it in a party. The winner would get mentioned in this guy's column. Jay and Austin where the finalist... and let's see what happened.

These Other one is an interview.... and Well, I'm Just going to put them on here because videos can explain for themselves.

Oh my god! In the search of vids of these eye-candy (xD) I found this AWESOME show where he and Tim Gunn appeared as special gests and judges. It's about young designers and proms!! So Here is the part Austin is actually in...

I know he doesn't do much but since the show is so great and I'm lacy enough to not want to create a whole new thing for it. xD I actually can't finf the end of it! O_O Oh the hell with that... I'm too tired to care! xD!!!

I could put the whole thing but what for... So this is all... (I finnaly yay!)

Sayonara! (Adieu!)

Poker Night!!

*WANNA BET?*

Panic! at the disco ~ Nine in the Afternoon

Not acutally my kind of song, but that doesn't mean that it can't be my song. I mostly like the video and the lyrics. I think that what the song says is pretty important and true.

Live Your Life Message...

"We don't need God to have a reason to live. We live to enjoy life and its pleasures".

This phrase is from a comment of a video in youtube, and I don't even now who wrote it, but this person here is my hero. He or she figured out my whole life.And it's not like I don't believe in God... but I live for myself and I love it that way! =D