Gay up, man!!

Okay, so I am just going to put this out there because I've been wanting to write about this in my diary (a.k.a. here) and no one will read it anyway and I reaally, really want to get this out of my chest.

This is nothing I haven't said before, but I-love-gays. Maybe in an even unhealthy way (yeah, perverted hentai way), but I can't help it. I also love lesbians (it's just that Asia is much more pro-man-fanservice than the other way around). Somehow I think those kind of relationships are purer...

It's just my bias, though, not that it really is like that.

Thing is, I like androgyny, I think it's some kind of the climax of life.

Yeah, stupid, I know, it's still my honest feeling.

And I have found myself wondering lately about this things, perhaps because I have a homophobe mom and I am bi and soo pro-gay her comments actually hurt. The big question here (and yes, I am being random, it's because it's late and I want to take a quick nap before Music Core but my dad being sitting next to me keeps me from doing so *sigh*, this are the times I wished I had my own place... I have my room but I have a slight backache and I the position for the laptop is not too comfortable for me. Back to topic) is...

Will she be able to accept a relationship between me and a girl?

It's not unlikely, just as it is not likely. 50-50. I like equally both, because I see inner beauty and general timeless genre-free beauty, that's how I am.

Anyway, I am honestly afraid to ask, since I have not been taken seriously and I wouldn't like to get into useless argument...

It's just that...

*sigh*

I guess I am not ready to put it put there in words yet, even if it is on this useless and anonimous blog.

PS: the ones on top are EunHae. OMG. I'll blog about them later.

Entré!

Just as the title says, I got in...

No further explanation is needed...

Nee~~

I am too tired to give further details about everything that has happened... but I am a RADIO DJ NOW!! I am soo happy!! I mean, I am just beginning but they said I was good (for me I was just ok) on my first show so I hope I can get better and better and stuff...

and I don't wanna write anymore xd! so bye bye!! I just wanted to share my happiness!!~~!!

. . .

Insecurities suck...

I'll say, Just suck it up and do it...

Although, it is indeed easier said than done...

But hey! man up and step up and go forward and stuff...

Yeah, I wish I had someone to tell me that and give me the fucking courage I don't have...

Why am I such a corward? I wish I just did a little more acting and a little less thinking...

I am such a wuss....

But! I am trying to man up =B! And I have already Achieved so much, why stop now?....

Should I just go for it...?

Awesome news for me~yay!

I have AWESOME news! I mean, there's nothing too sure yet, and it's not really that important, but it is a big (huge) step for me. So I gathered all my courage (and patience) and made a demo for a project for a Radio from Hato. At first I was really confident and checked my e-mail everyday thinking that I couldn't be rejected, but since they took some time to reply, I thought I hadn't been accepted so at first I was all frustrated and me (you know, I don't handle frustration and failure) but then I was able to put it behind me and forget about it...

BUT TODAY... I received an e-mail telling me I had been accepted and... Gosh! I was soo happy I inmediately could picture myself like this:

But then, I started panicking because even if I had pictured myself dealing with this all okay, and even if I'm not 100% hired, what if I couldn't do it? What if I made lots of mistakes or nobody liked it? I mean I have seen/listened to some pretty shitty stuff but it's sort of different since everyone knows each other and I am a whole outsider. However I did have the resolution of clawing my way into the fansite. I published my story (and I will continue to write more, since it is my talent), but I am really insecure too.

Shane Dawson has really helped me with that. Hahaha, ironic how he has absolutely no idea (of course, he's a youtuber). But thanks to him I am more confident and I hope I can send him a video reply one of this days or a comment he'll read. He always does, but since I have nothing good to tell him I've haven't send him anything. Nevertheless, he's given me so much confidence I almost can believe it. He's really nice. I'll go watch his videos :P!

So, now that I may get the job for real, I think I'll be like this:

All uncool and confused and WTF??

But I'll give it a try and I'll give my best if I go on live podcast one of these days!

~Adieu!

It's okay to be gay~Super Junior

Just sit and enjoy! (LOL)

Okay, so I soo not did this video but wish I could! The girl kept repeating that she didn't think they were gay and stuff so don't take it as a big deal and stuff... well, you know what?? THEY ARE GAY! There, I said it.

Well, nooo.... they are not all gay, but some of them are (not that they came out, but you can tell, right?) and it's totally fine.

You see, for me Super Junior is devided between the ones that I know are gay and the ones I wish were gay. LOL.

Well, there's this other video that is also cool, from the same account... so... here it is!

PS: I don't know if I said so, but I case nobody realized... I love gays, gayness, lesbians, cross-dressing, and you know all the kind of things you see at a gay pride parade! Yeah, I'm pretty fucked up... But I'm happy =D! (LOL)

Perfection~Super Junior M

I have so many things to say about this video...

It's just so...! (sexy, orgasmic, shallow -yeah, lol- hot, awesome, comercial, cool)

I mean, I am so sad Hannie left and I really, really miss him (watching full house I actually wish he was back) but I couldn't have been happier when I found out Min and Hyuk where going to be in Suju-M. I mean... hello OTPs! I'm actually a little into MiXian/Qmi, but compared to KyuMin they are totally at a loss! I am actually into ZhouRi a hell lot and I don't get why the fuck they are not popular and they have to go around screwing with YeWook and HanChul... (besides KyuMin and EunHae, of course).

Anyways, now the OTPs are reunited, and I do think they'll be some more threesome action but I don't care (you know, as long as it's just PWP).

Oh, I just realized I haven't said a thing about the actual song or video...

Hm...

At 0:17 there's this EunHae fanservice... There, that's about the video. LOL.

No, but they are really cool dancing together ALTHOUGH poor Henry has been diminished to being one of the three main dancers led by sexy dance machine EunHyuk. Sadly, he'll get really overshadow by the EunHae dancing duo. But good for Hae though, since he was promoted to lead dancer right next to Henry when before Henry had the main solos. Well, let's just say the three of them look sexy as hell dancing out front.

I'm not really sure who's the leader now, though... Well... Not that it trully matters xD. (I vote for Siwon, though)

About the song... It's cool... nothing too special but cool and sexy. Personally, I loved it.

And Hello cool smexy coreagraphy with awesome rape-me-now-Suju outfits!

Thumbs up for them!

(And I reaaaaaaaaally hope they go to 100% Entertainment and show Show Luo (ha) a little of that EunHae action!!)

Opening the old dusty Diary Again~

Soo... I'm back. I think it's because I am the kind of person that really likes blogging and stuff (because I like to have a diary and journalism, lol) but I don't really want anyone to read this (well, I think we're good there so far!).

Anyways, I have a new laptop! YAY!!!

I really thought this blog was dead for me! But ya' know what? I think I'm more into it than ever.It's because my new laptop is sooo good for blogging!! I love it.

So, what's up?

Not much really, since I've blogged last year that I moved with my dad. A-we-so-me. I'll take pictures of my room and upload them 'cause it is so damn pretty and crazy and full of color to the point of diziness... it is so me!!

And now I am a kpop freak... Like yeah, the thing I really wanted to avoid; being into pop again, happened. At least is Kpop...

Don't get me wrong, I'm still oh-so-in-love with Visual-kei!! It's just that... yeah. LOL. Now it has to compete with Kpop and to be honest, Kpop has much more things to watch like funny shows and no matter what people says SO MUCH MORE GAYNESS!!!

Like seriously! Visual may be all about dressing like girls but Kpop is out of contest gayer in every sense..

Never mind....

I'll just put the new Suju-M vid in my next entry...

(PS: I fucking need a memory card for my camera)